Blogging for me is like pages from my journal.
That is why my blog is called Lessons in Bravery. I recapture the thoughts that I unpacked on the pages of my journal. And in doing that it is lessons for me in bravery. Bravery that may not seem super brave to you that read, as it is a faceless post, with faceless people reading it, and no real effect on me, but it is indeed lessons in being brave each time I put words down on these posts.
Too many time we post things on social media with out thinking of how people will respond. We just put our words out there with out understanding the impact of the words on the faceless masses. Yet with each stroke of the keys I find myself having to face myself, and that is almost worst than the faceless masses out there.
Please don’t get me wrong I love writing. I love words. I love being able to put into words a thought or feeling that has been rolling around inside of me, thought that have been fighting to find their way out, meaning to feelings others have been battling with and haven’t had the words to express it. Lessons in bravery is for those moments. For these moments.
While I may not write every week, or even every month, the times I do write are profound for me. And whether or not people read them, well, to me writing it out is just worth getting the words out of my head and maybe helping someone else understand they are not alone. Helping someone else understand they can be brave too. And that is what brings us to todays lesson.
Hannah gets me.
She knows what it feels like to desire something, to long of sit, to see others walk it out, and to still be waiting for your ticket to get punched.
Hannah gets me.
I started reading 1 Samuel with the She Reads Truth community today, and that’s where I met Hannah.
Hannah is married. She and her husband haven’t had any kids, that has been a struggle for them. Her greatest desire is to have children. Her husband has kids from another women. It’s hard for her to accept that she may never have kids. Hannah is devastated by the idea that she may never be a mother.
One day Hannah went into her church and just threw down with God.
Have you ever had a throw down with God? A time where you just come at God with both barrels blasting; all anger, all tears, all fears, all frustrations, everything.
Hannah came at God with a broken heart. She cried out with longing and desire. Her heart begged for God to do something. She didn’t give up. Hannah pursued God.
Hannah had her prayers answered.
She became a mom.
Her sons name is Samuel.
Samuel’s story is in 1 & 2 Samuel. You can read up on what happened to him and to Hannah.
I love the story of Hannah.
Hannah is everyone of us. She understands our heart. Hannah hears our cries because they were her own. The tears she cried, all the fears, all the frustration, everything that she was holding in her heart God heard.
I love that.
The fact that God heard her where she was: all fired up and in God’s face. God heard her hearts desire. He heard the heart cry. How great is that! God hears us. He hears our hearts.
Even more than that, Hannah went after the desire of her heart. She knew she couldn’t do anything to get it, she knew it was out of her hands, and she knew God was the only source of her desire. Hannah could have been completely fed up with it all and just bailed on God, but instead she pursued God and she offered God the object of her desire.
She did not hold back even the thing she had been craving.
What is the thing you desire? What is your heart longing for?
Are you pursuing God more than you are pursing your desire?
Is there something hidden in your heart, something that you are longing for but afraid to offer to God? Like Hannah we need to offer back to God the very thing we desire. Somewhere in each of us is that one thing, that hidden desire, or maybe not so hidden. Maybe you are just like Hannah- your desire is on full display, you know it, your heart knows it and so does everyone else.
Take some time and think about what your heart is longing for. Is there something you have been pursuing instead of God? Is there something that God has been wanting for you? Is there a place where those two things can meet?
I don’t have all the answers to this one. I am still sorting through all these questions myself. My challenge is: am I willing to offer God the thing I most desire? To offer it back to Him? To pursue and crave Him more than said thing?
In Hannah’s story she goes into the church and begins to pray. The pastor of the church at the time is named Eli. Eli saw Hannah praying, in her heart, with only her lips moving, and he thought she was drunk or crazy.
Are we willing to look a bit crazy in order to pursue God and our dreams/ desires?
Do I have the desperation to look for God, to God, to seek, to pursue God in a way that brings me closer to Him and to His heart? Because I think that is the only way we will really reach our desires.
May we all be brave enough to look foolish for the sake of knowing God.